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Church Bulletin Bloopers 

These beauts appeared on church bulletins boards accross the land.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. 
Evening massage - 6 p.m. 

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. 

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. 

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.  Ushers will eat latecomers. 

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. 

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." 

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our  pulpit. 

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience." 

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. 

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth. 

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. 

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why. 

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. 

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns 
from a full choir. 

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" 
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett 

Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding" 

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: 

    Dr. Hargreaves is better. 

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow. 

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help. 

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Other bloopers pages:

What will the boss come up with next? More of the goofy things people say.

Golden student bloopers
Gut-busters from students' written exams.

More Gems:
I'm so angry I could blow someone. Oops! What did I say? Wacky mistakes from stuents' oral exams.

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